Sacred Relections

Sacred Relections - 1996 Fall Equinox

Pursuing Greatness

By Norman Groleau
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When I first sat down to write this article, I had a lot of difficulty defining what the "shadow" is. Because it seems to do its mysterious work in the background, every time I tried to look at it directly, it faded and disappeared. In order to gain a better sense of what I was stalking, I had to look for indirect evidence of its existence. Once I began to track the shadow with intention, I found its tell-tale spoor:

Feelings of fear, wanting to escape and hide.
Feelings of shame and unworthiness.
Fear of appearing inadequate, being exposed as inferior.
Internal dialogue telling me that I can't do something, that I am incapable, that I am bragging or showing off. I realized that when I give myself the same negative messages over and over again, at some point I become convinced of their validity and unable even to perceive of any other possibilities.

Everyone's shadow is probably unique. Mine seems to be that part of myself which has accepted certain limitations on who I am and what I am capable of. It has a vested interest in playing it safe and maintaining the status quo. Possibly the greatest harm caused by my shadow is settling for so much less than what is possible. My life is not miserable when I play it safeÑbut there is so much more! In fact, what my shadow ultimately fears most is the pursuit of greatness. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us." Whenever I hear Marianne Williamson's words, quoted by Nelson Mandela in his inaugural speech, I feel a shiver of excitement, a thrill of recognition at how much more I truly am than I am usually willing to admit to myself or to others. Only on rare occasions do I sit back and allow myself to feel the immensity and perfection of the Universe and to marvel that 1, too, am part, of this greatness. Having convinced myself that the shadow really does exist, I put together some useful tools for stalking it:

Courage.
Acknowledging to myself and others what I am feeling.
Taking risks (such as writing this article).
Allowing myself to feel all the pain of living with the shadow's imposed limitations.
Gentleness and self-acceptance.
Suspension of judgment (of myself and others).
Imagination. I find it useful to imagine how my life would be different if the feelings of fear and inadequacy were not present. I also find it useful to ask the question: "What is the worst thing that can happen?"
A sense of humor.
Reminding myself that in accepting the shadow's messages and settling for a "small" and safe life, I am not only shortchanging myself but also my friends.
Friends. They provide a myriad of vantage points that give me new information and fresh perspective. And they help me celebrate and reinforce risks taken and victories achieved.
Action. Even though a certain amount of good work can be accomplished by reading, thinking, talking and analyzing, ultimately there is no substitute for deeds. I must, as the Nike commercial says,

"Just do it!"

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