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Hugging is something that some of us do quite
naturally, and thank goodness,
frequently. It is a simple act, a joining together to share warmth and
touch through physical closeness. Done without strings or manipulations, it
is a common form of greeting between friends that communicates caring in a
nonverbal manner. Most of us take it for granted. Not me, not any longer.
Not after a visit to the Redwood Retirement Home in Mill Valley the weekend
before Thanksgiving.
Following guidance that came during a retreat on Mt. Shasta, a group of us from Wakan went over to the "Redwoods" to do a ceremony honoring the elders who lived there. Age is not looked upon with reverence in our youth-worshipping culture. In indigenous society the Elder is revered and respected as a container for life-serving wisdom. Their guidance is sought out and listened to, especially in times of crisis. Older people in mainstream society are disrespected, devalued, and all too often, discarded. Everyone suffers as a result. We wanted to do something that would function as an antidote to this poison and the social worker there was quite excited to have us give it a shot. Walking in to the Redwoods that Sunday evening we had no idea what kind of interest there would be in what we had come to offer. To our surprise and delight, it was the biggest turnout they have ever had for an outside event. There were fifty five interested people who joined us in the auditorium. We sat in a circle with rows of the elders at one end and the Wakan folks at the other end. We explained that we wanted to thank them for their lives, for all they had been through, all they had done and given to help those who they had touched in their lives. We brought appreciation and we wanted to express it in the way that we knew best, through prayers, song and drumming. Seven different "Wakanistas" came into the center of the circle, one at a time. Each one brought in one of the directions--the east, the south, the west, the north, below, above, and the Creator in the center. As they gave thanks for the gifts of each direction, they prayed for the life of the elders bringing in blessings from that specific direction. After the prayers, we sang a beautiful healing song of affirmation that helped dissolve negative beliefs and judgments and opened the heart to the healing power of love. Then we brought out our drums and rattles sharing our extras with those elders who wanted to give it a try. We explained that the first sound we heard in life was our mother's heartbeat and that the sound of the drum beat was to open ourselves to all the love that had been given and received in their life time and to gather it all up and bring it here in the moment. "Surrender in to the sound of the drum and fill yourself up with love. Open to the heartbeat of Mother Earth, to the heartbeat of the Great Spirit. Fill yourself up with the greatest power in the universe, the force of unconditional love that has no strings or conditions. Send it out to the people here in the room. Send it out to where ever it needs to go. Love doesn't die even though bodies change and eventually go back into the earth. Love is the essence of who we really are. Let's bring it through for all our relations!" With these words we started to drum. I didn't know how the folks would respond to all of this. During the prayers I noticed some people seemed to be uncomfortable, a few seemed closed or even a bit hostile. But we went for it. I had my eyes closed at first, but after a few minutes of drumming I opened my eyes to take a peek at what was happening "out there". I couldn't believe it. The people were just cooking. Drumming, rattling, tapping their feet, clapping hands. Even those who had appeared disinterested or alienated were just really into it. Some had their eyes closed, heads shaking in time to the beat. Others were wide-eyed and full of big smiles. It was just wonderful. Everybody working it! We went on for quite awhile and then brought it to a close. We did some final prayers and a song one of the Redwood people wanted us to sing. Then I thanked them all for allowing us to share our Medicine Way with them and suggested that since we always closed by giving each other hugs, if any one there wanted a hug too, just to come up and let us know. It was like opening the flood gates. People came up to us and just went over the top--giving and asking for great, big, juicy hugs. One woman, ninety three years old, came up to me and said that she hadn't had a hug for twenty one years. Her vulnerability and openness really got to me. We stretched out our arms and flowed in to each other. Tears ran down both our cheeks when we finished our long, long hug. The love in the room was just incredible. People were all over, hugging, talking with great joy and praising the music we had made together. They wanted us to come back next week for more. They loved it. For two weeks I got calls from the residents extolling the benefits of the ceremony. Pain relief, sleep enhancement, "the best thing that ever happened here", a request for dancing next time, "I haven't felt so good in I don't know how long", and much, much more. It was a huge success and we hope to go back again next Thanksgiving. It was such a simple thing too. Just prayers, songs, drumming and hugs. Honoring our elders without whose sacrifices we would not be here. It was one of the strongest experiences of real healing that I have ever witnessed. Real healing, the deepest healing, is beyond the body. It is the liberation of our souls from the imprisonment of limitation and separation. It comes about when we are able to release the blocks of fear and judgment that close our hearts to the presence of love. Open the heart and there it is. It hasn't gone anywhere. Been there all the time. Real healing comes from joining with deeper soul-self which in turn, brings through the experience of feeling joined with others, with spirit, with all of creation. It removes the violence of separation. Inner peace is the result. Joyous, radiant love is the reward. This is truly what real health and healing is all about. This is the gift the Elders of the Redwoods gave us on this wonderful day of thanksgiving. May we remember it well turning all days into occasions for giving thanks and honoring our Elders. Let's keep those hugs going opening the door in '94!
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