The woman spoke of how upset they were, then wanted to know what I actually did, who I had worked with, and what authority I had to do what I was doing. I opened my heart and let the words flow. I explained how I got involved with shamanism, my visionary experiences during my quests in the mountains, and how I was working with others to bring them to Spirit in ways that had been meaningful for me. I spoke of the great respect I had for the old ways of Turtle Island and that I believed they held the answers for how Western society needed to change if life was to continue on these lands in a good way. I spoke of the elders I had worked with, what exactly I was doing, and how I felt about it. During this time, I focused on keeping my heart wide open. I wanted to be seen directly with no defenses or blocks. "This is not a game for me," I explained. "It is not a passing fad. It is my life. I am not trying to be something I am not. I use these ways because they help me to be the best me I can be. They speak to my soul. I believe the great powers of the universe are given by the Creator for all people to know and acknowledge and pay respectful homage to. This is what I try to do. Then I told them of my daily thanksgiving rituals and how it is the best way to live that I know. It speaks to my heart, to my spirit, to my entire being.

"Ever since I was a little boy," I continued, "I've loved nature and wanted nothing more than to be in it. I loved walking in the woods alone. In school, I always sat by the window wishing I could be out there instead of inside listening to words that held no interest for me. Western religion and philosophy held no meaning for me. They had no power. It wasn't until I discovered the native ways of this land that I finally found something that made sense to me, that spoke to me, and that I could respect. The ways of respectful relationship with all living things, with the wind, the sun, the animals, the earth, the plants--with all of creation and with the Great Sacred Mystery that underlies it all--this is my religion. This is my life." I continued, "In my work with others, I see they are also hungry for deeper connection with Spirit. They too are lost and are looking for a way that speaks to their deeper being. I share with them what I know, what Spirit has taught me, and some are helped by this. I ask on my quests if this is what Spirit wants me to be doing. The answer so far always comes back yes. So I do the best I can, sharing what I have been taught, trying to go on in a good way as a channel for Great Spirit in the world."

After I had expressed myself, I paused to see if they wanted me to continue. The woman nodded so I went on. "I know that all nonindigenous people who come to this land from elsewhere bring with them a tradition and religion from their country of origin. I believe it is important to honor this and to carry it on when it is good medicine. My people go back thousands of years to the Twelve Tribes of Israel. I am a tribal man. My ancestors, the Hebrews, were a tribal people who went out into the desert and up onto sacred mountains to seek vision and to commune with God. I am following the tradition of my ancestral roots with the quests that I do. But," I emphasized, "I feel that it is vitally important to connect with the spirit of the land where my family has now lived and died for three generations. I have to listen to its voice in order to learn how to walk in balance with the rhythms of Mother Earth here in my new home. I am trying to do this in the best way that I know how, the way I have been shown by teachers I respect. I am trying to do this in right-relationship with Spirit and all the living circle of life. This is my path."

When I finished speaking, there was a long period of silence. I sat back in my chair and released into the Great Spirit's hands. I waited patiently, breathing in, breathing out. Thank you Great Spirit, for right now, I prayed in silence. Help me to open to your presence and to your will. I surrender to you and whatever it is that serves you and the greatest good. Ho. May it be so.

Finally, the man raised his head and spoke: "I see that we are doing the same work. I see that we are brothers on this path of life. I see in your heart that you are doing the work of Great Spirit. It is a good thing. I am glad that we have met. I want to support you in what you are doing. Tomorrow I would like to bring my buffalo skull as an altar and with my helpers do a pipe ceremony for you and your people. But first there is one thing that I must ask you to consider. You call what you are doing when you take people up to the mountains a vision quest. I see that Spirit has guided you to do this work and you should keep doing it, but it is not right that you call it a vision quest. You do not carry the Chanunpa Wakan, the Sacred Pipe . You do not use the inipi, the sweat lodge, before you go to the mountains. You are not trained by a Lakota elder in the specifics of the hanblecheyapi, the lamenting for a vision. So it is disrespectful for you to call what you do a vision quest. It is not for me to tell you what to do. But I hope you will think about what I say. Listen to the counsel of the Great Spirit. Then let us talk about this later."

I took his words to a deep place within me. "Thank you for listening to me and for listening to my heart. I appreciate all you have given me and I will go off alone now to be with what you have said." Then I went to mediate and pray. In my room, I reached out for help. Help me, Great Spirit, I come to you seeking your will. If you do not want me to be doing this work, let me know and I will let it go. For I know it only works to the extent that it is truly serving you. If it is something that you want me to keep doing, help me to see how to do it in a good way, a way that is respectful to the Lakota and to all Native people. You have shown me the power of fasting and praying alone in the mountains. I have shared it with others and I have seen them come back to a respectful relationship with Mother Earth. But perhaps I am fooling myself. Perhaps you no longer want me to do this. I am confused. I surrender to you.

After my prayer, I sat very still, just being open and listening. All I could hear was the beat of my heart and the crickets chirping loudly outside my window. Ten minutes went by, fifteen, then twenty. Then I felt a presence and heard the following words. Keep going on your path. Keep taking people to the mountains to pray and to be with me. But the words of the brother are true. It is not right for you to call what you do a vision quest. Honor what is true. It is a quest for vision. Speak those words.